update

update on my friends

Boy A- Still dont like him but i tolerate him more. He reminds me of my brother. Whom i hate. I guess thats why i can tolerate him. Cause if have to put up with my brother for my whole life. He still no girlfriend. Cause hes such a dick.

Boy B- Its official i like him. And he likes me. But i fucked things up. If i hadnt we’d be dating right now. but wer not. hes leaving in like 5 weeks. :/ at least i know its my fault things didnt work

Boy C- still with his gf, who is sooooo pretty! haha im jealous of her hair!

Boy D-Still has a gf. Hes still my closest friend but im not sure how much i trust him anymore.. some things that i have told him and only him are some how surfacing..

Boy E- Doesnt annoy me so much anymore. Glad hes my friend. Still thinks hes ignorant as shit. but oh wellA

Girl A- Still with her boyfriend. both still hot. i think someone confronted her cause she doesnt have those concieted moments anymore

Girl B- Of course still with her boyfriend. theyv only been together for like ever! haha! but i feel like wer drifting :(

absolutly depressing that both of my best friends are the hottest couples in school. and i hav no one…

Girl C- Still hardley around. i like her but everyone else is kinda two face about her..idk how to react to it

and that leaves us to me

Girl D- still the newest member. still single

but i kinda fucked up

i “talked” to “too many” guys at once and now im a “slut”

the fuck is that.

and fairytales dont exist beyond children’s storybooks

bleh

i will never be good enough

i will never be good enough

i will never be good enough

i will never be good enough

i will never be good enough

i will never be good enough

i will never be good enough

i will never be good enough

i will never be good enough

i will never be good enough

i will never be good enough

i will never be good enough

i will never be good enough

i will never be good enough

i will never be good enough

i will never be good enough

i will never be good enough

i will never be good enough

i will never be good enough

i will never be good enough

i will never be good enough

i will never be good enough

i will never be good enough

i will never be good enough

i will never be good enough

i will never be good enough

i will never be good enough

i will never be good enough

i will never be good enough

i will never be good enough

i will never be good enough

i will never be good enough

i will never be good enough

monday

1 week binge starting monday

only eating lunch cause thats what people are around for

lots of water so i dont pass out

yeeppp here i go

yeep(:

guess who gots a prom date!(:

meh :(

 bestfriends

this is the group

Boy A-cant stand him if it was up to me i would not be his friend but hes still part of the group. he always is commenting about how im fat, and stupid, and why would anyone like me

Boy B-hes single and i like him but he doesnt like me and hes moving in like 3 months, i have such mixed feelings for him, like idk if i like him or i just like liking someone, bleh idk if that even makes sense :/ but doesnt matter, hes leaving and even if he wasnt hed never like me cause im not good enough for anyone :/

Boy C- has a girlfriend, but its kay cause i just see him as a good friend(:

Boy D-Probly my best guy friend, he also has a girlfriend, but idc cause i dont like him like that, i can tell him anything and i swear everything he says is soo helpful idk whatd i do without him

Boy E-eh he annoys the shit out of me, he has his moments where im glad his my friend but his annoying moments out way the good

Boy D- also has a girlfriend, he was one of my first friends he also came from the same place as me so i can relate to him, and again idc bout girlfriend cause hes just a friend

Girl A-Shes muh bestfriend haha, she has a boyfriend to and there both sooo hott. but somtimes she can be a little concieted but i mean she has a right to shes so pretty

Girl B- muh otha befwiend, also she has a boyfriend and they are absolutly adorible! i can relate more to her and she also listens to me more(:

most times i feel so sad because girl A and B are part of  the cutest couples at school and i dont even have a guy :/

Girl C-never really around

so ya i liike boy B , i wish he wasnt moving, maybe if he wasnt than we could be somthing? or not cause hes way to good for me :/

and then theres me

Girl D- the newesst member, i am single, because im ugly. i always feel out of place, like i dont really belong. maybe i dont..

:’/

god whyd i do that?

just brought back memories

just reminded how much i missed feeling that

the feeling of being wanted by someone

i just want someone to want me is that too much to ask?

:’(

UGGHH

dammit why do i do this to myself

i think i like him

or do i just like how i feel with him

or is it just cause i miss what it felt like to like someone

fuck me

doesnt matter hes leaving soon

i just wanna go back to last night

and stay there forever </3

weight

current weight: 105

slow progress :/

but still progress